The Neverland Infiltration
by Jane.Dao
Summary: Why is Peter Pan plotting to abduct...our Heero? warnings: parody, humor, chibis, Merien, crossover silliness some death..some strong language. pairings: 2x1,1x2,3x4,4x3, peterpan x ? for now!
1. Breach of Security

THE NEVERLAND INFILTRATION

Summary:

Why is Petter Pan plotting to abduct...our Heero?

warnings: parody, humor, chibis, Merien, silliness (some death).

pairings: 2x1,1x2,3x4,4x3, peterpan x ? (for now)!

Disclaimer:

um... I don't own GW...or Peter Pan... I don't make any money from this... it's fun to pretend though lalalalala!

Chapter 1: Breach of Security

It was 1:57AM, and although she was exhausted and her tutu was proving to be a slight hinderance, she kept her focus. The small green fairy was bunkered down inside an empty pizza box and remained poised to army-crawl to safety at any moment (should the opportunity arise). What had started out as a routine errand had proved to be anything BUT the usual routine.

_/How quickly the hunter became the hunted/ _she mused at the embarassing perdicament she found herself in.

Her thoughts raced with plans to turn the tables and make this boy sorry he'd messed with her.

_/...oh It's fucking ON!_

Her pointy little ears perked up when she heard a soft click. She crouched and peered out of the box.

There was the boy, having flattened himself along the wall, he was silently inching into the room. She glared angrily at him. He froze as if he felt her eyes boring into him, but he appeared to be regarding the bookshelf near the window suspiciously.

_/Foolish Mortal/_.

She watched the boy, as he continued to secure the perimeter of the room. When he reached said bookshelf, the boy silently dropped into a crouch, out of the fairy's line of vision. Out of the corner of her small, flashing golden eye she caught sight of a shadow shifting, and she fell into her defensive stance (which included instinctively arching her back to make her wings look more impressive for battle).

An unnatural silence filled the room. Tinker-bell waited inside the greasy pizza box, but nothing else moved. The shadow must not have been Peter's. Tinker-bell suddenly felt very alone and very scared.

_/This game isn't much fun/. _

She climbed out of the box, careful not to make a sound. Now from her place on the table she could survey the room, including the floor.

_/Ha! And you were worried. Clearly he went back to bed./_ She tried to comfort herself,_ /Boys will be boys/._

The fairy glared dejectedly at the edge of the table and let out a sigh. Well, she started to let out a sigh when there was a click and instantly a sharp pain surging through her right shoulder. Clutching her wounded shoulder she whipped her head in the direction of the enemy fire to lock eyes with a very pissed looking boy who he was smirking at her from under some intense bed head. Panicking, Tinker-bell dove off the table.

_/What the FUCK! It's official, this game SUCKS/_

She flew haphazardly into the next room with more clicks echoing in her ears, but she realize with horror that that crackling noise was her right wing ripping.

-

Crouched in the dark, Duo Maxwell was using the side of the bed as a makeshift trench, having been launched into consciousness by a gunshot in the next room. He was on his knees, checking the chamber of his 9-mm from his bed side table, when a ball of green light shot into the room and lit everything like some kind of rabid, room sized, pinball game. It was darting around, shuddering violently, and spitting glitter in all directions.The light was closely followed by a smouldering Heero Yuy who stood in the door way firing at will, apparently trying to...uh... kill the light. Duo dove under the bed, as the light came plummeting toward him, but he didn't scramble away fast enough to escape being assaulted with glitter.

"Heero! What the fuck IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Duo screamed, but he was ignored. Heero leapt onto the bed and continued to train his gun on the winged insurgent. With the improved angle, Heero squeezed off a few more shots before the light sent herself crashing under the bed. Heero jumped off the bed, landing in a crouch, peering under in the bed, clutching his gun firmly with both hands, but he frowned when he realized he was aiming at a glittery Duo sprawled under the bed.

"Duo?"

"HEY! WELCOME BACK! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? What the FUCK JUST BIT ME?" There was no consoling Duo as he pulled himself out from under the bed. Heero climbed back up onto the bed and jerked his head, indicating that Duo should join him. The furious ball of light was blazing green as it crashed around underneath the bed. Duo needed no further encouragement to let Heero protect him, so he obediently climbed into bed next to Heero. Heero rushed to reload, "It's a radioactive-bat-insurgent."

Duo's mouth fell open and he arched a suspicious eyebrow, "Heero, baby.."

"What? You see it too! Don't you? I've been waiting." Heero gave Duo his angriest death-glare-TM.

"QUATRE! HEERO IS BROKEN!" Duo shouted.

"DUO! Stop yelling. I'm right here. Do I even wanna know why you're covered in...glitter?"

Sure enough Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had all appeared in the doorway, obviously awakened by Heero's most recent round. Trowa stood with his hands stuffed in his pockets as he leaned over to look under the bed. The blazing ball of light shot out from under the bed and into the curtains, like a desperate sprint for the window, which of course was locked.

Wufei growled, "Clearly whatever it is, shooting it isn't very effective". He pushed past the other boys into the room. Drawing his Katana, Wufei approached the quivering curtains. Immediately Heero began to discuss strategy with his Chinese reinforcements.

Quatre gave Duo a concerned look, "...He said it was a radioactive bat?"

Duo nodded furiously, "And he bit me!"

"Heero bit you?"

"No the bat!"

"Maybe," Trowa interrupted, "it's a fairy."

"Oh! Do you think so, Trowa?" Quatre lit up.

Trowa shrugged.

"There's no such thing as fairies." Heero announced.

"Right, a radioactive back is a much more realistic conclusion" Quatre gave Heero a concerned look.

"I'm sorry Quatre, remind me. which one of us is the perfect soldier?"

"That's just an epithet! We're all excellent soldiers!"

Trowa coughed just then, but it sounded suspiciously like: "$100 on Heero".

"Trowa!" Quatre scolded.

Duo ran his fingers thru his hair while he said, "s'okay, I'll take Quatre."

"Duo! Do you even have $100?" Quatre scolded the American now.

"...uh... Quat... does the term "Zero System" ring any bells?" Duo asked.

"WHAT? Heero! We shouldn't be fighting at all." Quatre was starting to sound like he might cry and he wanted to bring a quick conclusion to this conversation.

Heero was also interested in closing this debate. "It doesn't matter what is is. Nothing that comes in this house leaves alive except gundam pilots. I don't believe in fairies. I believe in bats."

CRACK it sounded like the curtains had blown a fuse, and Wufei took a step back assuming a defensive stance, as the room went black. Before Heero had even finished speaking, the curtains gave one final, violent shake and a 4-inch person in a green tutu dropped to the floor and lay in a crumpled heap of glitter.

"I fold."

"Trowa! No! You can't fold!" Duo hissed.

Quatre flipped on the lights, "Oh GOD! Heero you killed it!"

"I did?" Heero lowered his weapon and peered over the side of the bed at the fairy.

Duo leaned over the side of the bed to get a better look,"He did?"

"Yes!" Quatre pushed past Wufei to kneel beside the mythic creature, "Every time someone says "I don't believe in fairies" a fairy dies!"

"Wait!" Wufei turned to Quatre,"IT'S STILL MOVIN- oh... no. never-mind. That finished her off."

"What!" Quatre returned his attention to the fairy.

"Ah. Mission complete then," Heero climbed off the bed and tucked his gun away into his shorts.

"Holy SHIT you're a good shot!" Duo announced, "He fucking blew one of her fucking wings off!"

The small fairy corpse erupted in green flame for a moment, before disapearing from the room completely.

Trowa turned to Duo, "I'll only accept cash."

"What? You folded!"

"No. You wouldn't let me fold."

"Well, this can't count because Quatre wasnt trying to kill the fairy."

...at this point Quatre and Wufei followed Heero out of the room to let Duo and Trowa settle the debt...

Trowa stood his ground, addressing Duo in hushed voice,"No. Yuy's the perfect soldier. The unspoken mission was to maitain the security of this building. Heero secured the house and quelled the insurgency while Quatre slept."

"It was a 4" person in a tutu...Heero thought it was a flying rodent! How is that an insurgency?"

"It was a huge mobile suit that turned into a bird, how is THAT an insurgency?"

"SHHHHHHHH!Are you fucking crazy? You cant just take a dig at Wing like that! Not with Heero around!"

"He knows how lame Wing is. He tried to blow it up himself."

"SHhh! Do you have a DEATH WISH or something?"

"yes."

"Look, double or nothing, sound good?"

Trowa arched an eyebrow, "Are you good for it?"

"Of course! Shake?"

Trowa smirked and shook Duo's hand.

As the boys wandered out of the room, Trowa noticed out of the corner of his eye a dark shadow move across the window.

"Duo?"

"'sup, Tro?"

"Did you see something?"

"um..."

"Just now, outside."

"No.."

Duo and Trowa paused to look out the window..

END CHAPTER ONE...

...what was Tink doing in the g-boys safe-house anyway?

...will Pan come to avenge his significant rodent- er fairy?

...will the pilots be able to resist the boyish charms of youth incarnate?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME AND FIND OUT!

Love, Jane.

A/N: Feel like letting me know what you think? Then please review!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!


	2. Odin Lowe's Boy

Chapter 2: Odin Lowe's Boy

Wufei sat at the kitchen table reading the paper and drinking tea ,when Duo came running in through the front door, blasting past the kitchen.

"HOLY SHIT 'FEI! What are you doing?" Duo back tracked, looking shocked to see Wufei.

"Reading. I thought that would be pretty clear."

"Hi Wufei." Quatre wandered into the kitchen as well.

"How can you just sit here and read, when TRIEZE KUSHRENADA is out front challenging you to a duel and insulting your family?"

"WHAT?" Wufei jumped with his katana already drawn, "No. I'm not falling for that one again. Maxwell. you look guilty. What did you do? Quatre, what did he do?"

"You know that Trieze is out front calling you a coward, right?" Quatre observed.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE?" Wufei stuck his head out the front door, "Where? I don't- MAXWELL!" Wufei jiggled the door knob furiously. He was locked out.

Quatre and Duo had the whole house to themselves. They rushed into the bathroom and began emptying their pockets. Duo unzipped his jacket and reached into the inside pocket very carefully. before suddenly withdrawing his hand, "FUCKER"

"here". Quatre reached into Duo's pocket..but also pulled his hand back suddenly, "Son of a.."

"Here." Duo removed his jacket and laid it down in the bathtub. After a minute a pink nose, and two white paws appeared. Next a pair of bright eyes and flattened ears appeared, as a very pissed off little black hamster crawled out of Duo's jacket and began running laps in the bathtub.

"He's kind of feisty, eh?" Quatre observed.

"He's perfect." Duo concluded.

"Do you really think the other fairies will think it's a fairy?"

"No. But it's a pretty good trade."

"Remind me again why we're doing all this?"

"Because!" Duo took a deep breath, "Obviously the other fairies sent the green one here. So, if they come looking for her... we'll give them this hamster as a PEACE offering. THEN they'll be happy and leave us alone. THEN you'll be doing a better job protecting the safe-house from mythic creatures...by not only bringing closure to Heero's little incident last night, but also appeasing them in order to prevent future attacks. Heero's solution was the band aid. This solution is the cure for cancer."

"Right... but why is it a big secret?"

"Oh- cause if Trowa finds out I was helping you then that's cheating and all bets are off."

"oh... wait! this all about that bet? You dont actually care about the well being of your fellow pilots?"

"we went double or nothing last night."

"oh."

MEANWHILE

"I found a shadow 2 days ago."

"a shadow?"

Heero took a sip of his coffee,"I thought it was Duo's but he said he wasn't missing it."

"hn. what are you going to do now?"

"Wait for someone to try and come back for it."

"How did you notice a 4-inch shadow?"

"It's not 4-inches. It's bigger."

"Oh, really?" Trowa cocked his head with interest.

"What's it to you?"

"That bet with Duo."

"Hn."

"We went double or nothing last night."

"So now you want to help me?"

"Hn."

"I've got it covered."

"It occurred to me that folklore might not be your strongest area of study."

"true."

"I just want you and Quatre to be on equal footing."

"Hn."

"There's a children's story about a boy who is youth incarnate. They called him Peter Pan, and he frequently lost his shadow and fraternized with fairies."

"that was the most useless thing you have ever shared with me Barton."

"Look, I didn't make it up."

"Next are you gonna tell me he fights with pirates and gets the girl in pink."

"Hn."

"I do not like this story."

"..."

"Hn."

"..."

"Shut up!"

"I swear."

"Hn. Anything else I should know?"

"..."

"oh.."

"hn."

"..."

"hn."

"What an amazing coincidence."

"indeed."

THAT NIGHT!

IT hadn't been easy, but Trowa had finally worn Quatre out. It's always easier to win a bet if you have the capacity to render the competition unconscious. The small blond boy lay sleeping peacefully in his arms, and Trowa gave him a soft kiss on the head. Trowa hoped Quatre would forgive him, and understand that $200 was $200, as he quietly pulled himself out of bed.

Trowa nonchalantly approached the window and reached for the lock. There was a soft click, and Trowa felt the barrel of a gun at his temple.

"uh, Heero.."

"uh, 'sup Trow?"

"Just opening this window," Trowa observed out of the corner of his eye a glaring Heero Yuy beside him, "Didn't you go to bed? Where's Duo?"

"Duo looks guilty. What did he do?"

"You think I know?"

"You look guilty too."

"Yuy.. how long have you been in here?"

CRACK

Both soldiers turned to see a stone the size of a golf ball lodged into the window pane of bullet proof glass. Instinctively Trowa and Heero flattened themselves against the floor.

"What the f..."

Quatre sat bolt upright in bed, "Trowa?"

"Hi Honey."

"What are you doing on the floor?"

Heero growled, "We're under attack."

"Hi Heero. What? We're under attack? Why are we fighting? There's nothing to fight about!"

"Hn." Heero addressed Trowa but glared in the direction of the doorway (he appeared to calculating how long it might take him to sprint from his current position to the hallway), "What part of "Heightened Security", made you think you were authorized to unlock things in the middle of the night?"

"Is wanting fresh air a crime?"

"How do we know you weren't signaling to the insurgents?"

"First of all there are no insurgents. In order for there to be an insurgency there has to be a government for them to be rebelling against."

"It's true," Quatre chimed in, "Don't let the Bush administration tell you anything different."

Heero arched an eyebrow, "So really we're the terrorists because we're trying to quell rebellion in a country we have no business occupying, by cultivating fear our military presence?"

Duo wandered into the bedroom, "Heero?"

"Duo."

"But..." Duo arched an eyebrow and frowned, "If you're here, then who's that boy in our room?"

Heero glared furiously at Duo, "What?"

A boy wearing green tights and some sort of leafy tunic appeared in the doorway. Wufei was keeping his katana at the intruder's throat while guiding him into the room.

"Look what I found," Wufei hissed, tossing a slingshot into Quatre's lap.

"Ha! Trowa!" Duo laughed, "All bets are off! Wufei stopped the insurgency!"

"What kind of insurgency only has ONE insurgent?" Trowa snapped as he and Heero stood.

The accused insurgent glared around the room revealing a flash of green eyes through flaming red hair that stuck up in all directions.

"What kind of insurgent doesn't wear shoes?" Quatre tilted his head with a concerned look.

Wufei forced him to his knees and bound the intruder's hands. The fairy boy defiantly kept his head up, refusing to take his eyes off Heero. The perfect soldier approached him, "Who sent you?"

"..."

"Who are you working for?" Heero tried asking in Japanese.

"You're Odin Lowe's boy, aren't you?" The fairy had an endearing british accent.

"Who?" Heero breathed, as he held the fairy at gunpoint at an arm's length with one hand.

"Odin Lowe!" The fairy boy repeated insolently.

Heero glared.

"..." Duo said.

"..." Wufei said.

"..." Trowa said.

"..." Quatre said.

Heero frowned and lowered his gun at last, "Look, do I know you?

"The name's Pan."

Heero arched a suspicious eyebrow and instantly resumed pointing his gun in the boy's face.

Quatre piped up, "uh,... Peter Pan?"

"yeah!" Pan jerked his head up and grinned at Quatre.

"Shut up." Heero hissed, pressing the barrel of his gun into the boy's forehead.

"Oi, what gives man!" Pan whined, "Okay, you win!"

Wufei leaned over to Duo and commented, "Yuy's touchy tonight."

Duo rolled his eyes, "tell me about it!"

"Cut me loose!" Pan begged, pretending his voice hadn't cracked.

"Why would I do that?"

"I surrender! UNCLE!"

"So?"

"Let ME go!"

"What the f... How did you get in here?"

"This isn't funny! C'mon! Untie me!"

"No. That's not going to happen. How did you find this place?"

Then the fairy boy burst into tears. All of the pilots were completely caught off guard when the boy collapsed at Heero's feet, wailing now.

Heero lowered his weapon, "Oh come-on.."

"Heero!" Quatre looked close to tears himself, "Stop it! You're scaring him!"

"Uh, " Wufei began, "I think that was the idea.."

"Cut him loose!" Quatre continued as if he hadn't heard Wufei, "He's just a lil boy!"

"Yeah," Heero scoffed, "a lil boy who snuck in and out of our safe-house ALMOST undetected three times."

"NANI?" Four of the gundam pilots all shot Pan looks of betrayal and one continued to glare.

END CHAPTER 2

A/N: Thanks for reading my story! This is me trying my hand at fic that is NOT Alternate Universe. Do you like?

Please Read and Review...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Love, Jane


	3. Suddenly Trowa felt a lil uneasy

CHAPTER 3.

The mythic Peter Pan squinted against the morning light. He turned to snuggle his head into his pillow, but found that he couldn't move. He tried rub sleepies out of his eye, but his hands were bond painfully to the back of the chair he was sitting in. The chair? Peter sleepily realized he was very securely bound to a wooden, kitchen chair, in the middle of a strange room. The events of the pervious night came trickling back to him, as he slouched hopelessly in the morning light.

"C'mon, lift your head up. Have some self-respect for Christ'ssake."

Pan saw out of the corner of his eye a boy watching him from a nearby couch. Pan straightened up in his chair, but closed his eyes as if he were simply stretching. Keeping his eyes closed Pan pretended he was rather bored with this game, "I'd like to speak to 'eero Yuy."

"Oh really? Unfortunately you're not in much of a position to be making demands."

"..."

"Don't worry gorgeous, he'd like to have a chat with you too."

Heero wandered into the room, "Duo, are you talking to yourself?"

"No. The fairy boy and I were just getting to know each other."

"That poor boy," Wufei sympathized, as he followed Heero into the room, and gave Pan a pointed look.

"Take that back." Heero didn't look at Wufei while he said this, but he didn't need to either. His cold monotone voice promised enough bodily harm.

"It's cool." Duo stood and stretched, " 'Fei's just jealous he never gets to have me tie him to chairs! Isn't that right, Wuffers?"

"Bite me!" Wufei scowled at Duo.

Heero stared absently at Pan's feet, "you wish he would."

"Where is everyone?" At about this point, Trowa and Quatre wandered into the living room at last, "Oh here they all are- I'm just so glad that we're all together..oh is Peter awake? Hi Peter, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Quatre Winner."

Trowa nudged Quatre, who stopped beaming at the visitor to notice three frustrated glares being directed toward him, "Eep!..oh... um... I'm giving away classified information again, aren't I? I'm gonna stop talking..."

"Quatre Winner" Pan smiled mischievously at the blond Arab, "The pleasure is mine."

Suddenly Quatre looked a little uneasy.

"And Trowa Barton." Pan continued, "And Chang Wufei, and Duo Maxwell, and Heero Yuy," and as the sprite finished, he gave Quatre a wink.

Suddenly TROWA looked a little uneasy.

"Where is Tinker-bell?"

5 very confused looks.

"Small...glowing...pissed off fairy?"

"We may have accidentally killed her."

"There may have been /nothing/ accidental about it" Quatre shot Heero an accusing look.

"It may have been self defense!" Heero hissed, locking eyes with Quatre.

"It may have been a premeditated attack" Quatre glared at Heero in defiance.

"Some people say the best defense is a good offense!" The perfect soldier leveled his gaze with Quatre.

"You attacked Tinker-bell?" Peter interrupted.

"May have" Wufei corrected.

"She may be dead?" Peter whined.

"Oh no. She's definitely dead."

"NO!"

"..but we got you this hamster to show you that there's no hard feelings!" Quatre offered.

"We did?" a confused Wufei asked.

"Oh. Well i guess that's okay." Pan brushed that dirt of his shoulder.

"Did you send her here?" Heero wanted to get back down to business.

Pan smirked, "Yep."

"Why?" Heero switched into interrogation mode.

"To get my shadow."

"Why was your shadow here?"

"It got caught in the window the last time i was here... but i didn't notice till i was 1/2 way home.."

"explain."

"I came to watch you guys.. cause I've heard stories"

"Stories?"

"From who?"

"My mother.

"Who's your mother?"

"The person who tells me stories."

"What does she call herself?"

"I forget.. she changes it.."

"Who else have you talked to about these stories?"

"Why the other lost boys of course! Wait til i tell them the g-boys are real!"

"I don't think so."

"You should come back with me! They'll never believe me otherwise!"

Quatre interrupted, "Heero! A word? Kitchen. Now."

moments later in the kitchen

The gundam pilots were in a huddle.

THAT"S ALL FOR NOW...

A/N:

Dear Minna, bit of a writer's block transition-wise here... but i didnt think that should stop me from letting you have this part. since i'm pretty happy with it..

i promise they'll go to neverland SOON...i have so many ideas for silly adventures in Neverland.. it's just that Heero's being so stubborn.. it's very very hard to persuade him to go...

but dont worry.. i shall deal with him...

Love, Jane

authoress appears in safe house kitchen with the gboys. Pulls Heero aside and puts an understanding arm around him


	4. A decision is made in the Huddle

Our boys were in a huddle.

"I think," Quatre began,"we should let him lead us to his head quarters. We should do some field surveillance and gather intelligence."

Heero frowned, "you're suggesting a reconnaissance mission then"

Quatre smiled and let his /true/ colors show,"What if the other "Lost Boys" are soldiers like us, too specialized for their own good."

Wufei nodded in agreement, "They've clearly been observing /us/ in order to gain an upper hand."

All the gundam pilots nodded in agreement. The fact that they were being watched needed to be dealt with.

"When I found him sneaking in," Wufei continued, "he was using a movement technique like nothing I've ever seen. He appeared to be gliding above the ground... frankly like something out of 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon'... and I wouldn't mind learning a bit of it."

Duo laughed, "Fei, you're always the wild card, eh?"

Heero closed his eyes while he spoke, "I don't like it. There are too many unknowns."

Trowa agreed with a simple,"Hn."

Quatre, a natural negotiator, turned to Duo, "What do you think, Duo?"

Everyone in the kitchen regarded Duo with interest.

"Uh," Duo scratched his head and shot Heero a very charming grin, "I think it's pretty unlikely that there are yet more gundam pilots we don't know about, and if you wanna study him, Fei, let's detain him a bit longer."

Heero glared at the floor, "agreed."

"Hn."

"fine."

Quatre looked hesitant (he had been sure Duo would be excited about the adventure), but finally conceded that he couldn't save every lost boy.

"So," Duo arched an eyebrow," We're not going? We're agreed?"

Glancing toward the doorway to the room where they had left Pan Wufei concluded,"right." The feisty Chines boy then led our boys out of the kitchen to where they had left Pan waiting.

So, it turns out, that lil fairy boys aren't very patient.

Heero smirked.

A very pissed off Duo distractedly walked right into Wufei's back, "Where the fuck did he go?"

"The coward ran." Wufei observed.

"Or maybe he's looking for his fairy? Denial is a common response to the loss of a loved one" Quatre suggested.

"...er... Heero?" Duo spun around.

"..."

Trowa responded to Duo with a bewildered shrug.

A/N:

Short i know- but i wanted to say hello to you all, and i felt absolutely terrible about just posting a note as a chapter...also-

THIS IS A PLOT SURPRISE RUINED IF YOU LIKE NOT KNOWING WHERE HEERO GOT TO- DONT READ THESE NEXT TWO SENTENCES

hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..

hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..

for those of you curious about how my chat with Mr. Yuy went as far as convincing him that going to neverland was a good idea (not well).. fear not! i had a much for successful chat with Pan, who has kindly offered to abduct our Heero against his will. so that is what will happen.

hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..

hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..hickory dickory doc..

ANYWAY (IT"S SAFE TO READ NOW)!

Thank you all so much for your supportive reviews! They made me smile so much! so much!

and for those of you who didnt review- thank you for reading my story, all the same!

unfortunately...

i have some terrible terrible news... something has happened which means less internet for jane... which in turn means less opportunity to update...

(soft crying/whimpering is heard).

no- it'll prolly just means that updates will be /that/much more POLISHED in the future...because i'll be spending so much time with them, making them perfect, right?

anyway, thank you all for your patients with me (in advance).

Love, Jane


	5. The Rendezvous Pan had Specified

CH. 5

"..."

"..."

"..."

Quatre whispered, "...he's gone."

"Why do you gotta scare me like that Q!" Duo pretended his voice hadn't cracked, "Saying fucked up shit like that!"

"Sorry... I...It's just a feeling i have..."

Wufei gave Quatre a suspicious look, "Mother hen-senses tingling, eh?"

Quatre looked very lost suddenly, "something like that.."

Trowa wrapped a concerned arm around Quatre's small shoulders.

"HEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Duo's voice reverberated throughout the house.

"That has NEVER worked!" Wufei shouted, but Duo had left.

Shortly a pissed off looking Duo returned. "He's gone," the American boy growled.

Quatre gasped, and Trowa smiled his little knowing smile.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Wufei was also wearing a look of betrayal.

"That stupid fucker!" Duo yelled, "What the fuck gives! Leaving us? After all that BULLSHIT about how there were/too many unknowns! Goddamn him!"

"Duo!" Quatre scolded, "Calm down. I'm sure Heero wasn't trying to trick us."

"Oh yeah?" Duo threw his hands into the air with frustration, "You think he just went out for milk and took the fairy kid with him? He fucking abandoned us Q! That's the just the kind of guy he is! He just leaves!"

"Duo!" Quatre tried to sooth the American pilot, "Heero's not like that. You know that. Stop saying those things."

"Quatre, please," Duo hissed, "get the fuck over yourself. Alright, get the FUCK over yourself. I'm so fucking sick of this "Little bit of good in everyone" bullshit! Okay? Sometimes people are just on a mission, only looking out for themselves. Sometimes they leave without you, cause they don't give a shit what happens to you! They aren't watching your back! You cant' fucking trust anyone."

"Not everyone's like that Duo," Quatre explained, "We're all looking out for each other, it's what friends are for."

"Oh really!" Duo was shouting now, "Clearly no one sent that memo to Heero Yuy. Sometimes, all I wanna fucking do is get some sleep, and let my guard down for a bit, and ALL i ask is for someone to keep an eye on shit for me. Is that so much to ask Q? How the fuck am i suppose to rest now, with my "Friend" who had my back, leaving without a word? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO SLEEP, NOW Q?"

"It's okay, Duo," Quatre continued, "We've got your back too. Maybe he's not far away."

Duo glared at Quatre, "It's NOT FUCKING OKAY." Duo hung his head, "Goddamnit! Fucking...hell...that bastard!"

"Well where would he be?" Wufei asked skeptically.

Trowa approached Duo silently, and put a hand on the other boys shoulder and spoke softly, "We'll find him." Duo unconsciously cringed at Trowa's touch and looked away.

"What happened here?" Wufei called from one of the bedrooms, "Duo, did you make this mess?"

The four remaining gundam pilots reconvened in the room that Duo and Heero shared. Wufei was cautiously poking thru a pile of black laundry with his katana.

"That's Heero's spandex drawer," Duo explained while giving the pile of clothing a hurt look, "It's been pulled out and dumped on the floor, it was like that when i found it. Heero clearly packed in a hurry."

"..." a silence fell over the room as the boys waited for Quatre to find a way to explain this one. Quatre noticed Duo staring at the clothing and gestured to the others as if to say: i've got nothing...

"Did Heero keep anything else in this drawer?" Wufei finally asked.

Duo shook his head and admitted, "I dunno."

"It's strange that he would only take spandex," Wufei continued, "Not tank tops too."

"True." Quatre agreed.

"What about the shadow?" Trowa asked casually, "the spandex drawer would be an excellent hiding place."

"Yes," Wufei's eyes lit up, "The fairy boy got loose, and went looking for the shadow, Heero caught him. Somehow the fairy boy was able to gain the upper hand, and force Heero to hand over the shadow. That big fairy must have abducted Heero. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"Keep talking, Fei."

"Well," Wufei continued, "If Heero had been in control of the situation he would have calmly opened the drawer and removed the shadow. This drawer is pulled out to tell us that something's wrong."

"And the window is wide open!" Quatre pointed out.

"This is just too fucking weird." Duo said with a sigh.

Murmurs of agreement were heard all around.

"I think right now," Wufei spoke with authority now, "The best we can hope for is that the fairy boy returns tonight."

The boys fell silent, considering staying put and waiting for Pan to return, dead or alive, with Heero.

Turns out Gundam pilots aren't very patient. Almost immediately Wufei tackled Heero's forsaken laptop, "Peter Pan he called himself?"

"Right" Quatre confirmed.

"Well don't just stand there" Wufei growled, "Help me build up some intelligence!"

Trowa was perusing the bookshelf (although no one seemed to recall seeing Trowa actually walk over there... it was like he had appeared beside the bookshelf..it was sort of unnerving...but i digress ). Quatre joined Trowa, and Duo tried calling Heero's phone.

"Duo?"

"Heero!"

"'sup?"

"Where the fuck are you!"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Tell me."

There was defeated sigh on the other side of the phone, "Second star to the right and straight on till morning."

"Baby," Duo sounded like he was choking, "It doesn't matter what they've done to you, you can get through this."

"Don't worry, Duo, it's not so bad. Pan's boyish arrogance is sort of endearing once you get past how annoying it is."

"What?"

"Pan. The fairy guy."

"What have you done with him?"

"He...are the others in the room with you? Say 'okay' if you're not alone."

"Okay."

"I'll tell you what happened later."

"Heero...what are you doing?"

"Uh...improvisational reconnaissance. Quatre'll understand."

"Honey, you're breaking up!"

"Can you hear me now?"

"Sort of."

"Tell Quatre."

"Tell Quatre?" Duo cocked the phone away from his mouth,"Quatre! Heero says he's on improv recon."

Quatre gasped, "Oh god! He's been abducted!"

"Hey Heero," Duo spoke into the phone again, "Have you been abducted?"

"NO! I HAVE NOT!"

Duo turned to Quatre once again,"He says, No."

Quatre rolled his eyes, "Oh of course he does!"

Duo covered the phone with his hand now and hissed, "He sounds stoned out of his mind."

"Ask if he can pick up some eggs on his way home," Trowa piped up.

"Trowa!" A very distraught Quatre frowned, "Now is not the time!"

Trowa shrugged Quatre's glare off, "Eh, consider it a vote of confidence."

"Duo!"

"...uh, 'sup 'Ro?" Duo returned his attention to his phone.

Heero's voice crackled out of the phone, "My battery is dying."

"I told you to plug it in! But NO you said...IT"LL BE FINE you said NO ONE EVER CALLS ME you said!"

"No.. I DID plug it..."

"...Heero?"

"..."

Duo glared at the phone,"His phone died."

"Did he take his charger?" Quatre asked.

Duo perked up, looking around hopefully before pointing to the charger on the beside table.

Quatre frowned,"Oh."

"Guess not," Duo clarified.

"I think that the fairy guy choosing Heero after careful study, is further testimony to Heero being the model soldier."

"Now is not the time, Barton," Wufei snapped, "Did Heero ask for reinforcements?"

Duo flung himself across the bed,"No."

"Did he," Wufei continued, "have any idea where he was?"

"No."

Wufei cursed,"Goddamnit you are useless, Maxwell."

"..."

"What? Will no one defend me?" Duo furrowed his eyebrows and pouted, "I miss Heero."

"We're all upset, Wufei" Quatre explained, "Taking it out on Duo wont bring Heero back."

"Yeah, Fei!"

"Maxwell, SHUT UP!"

"..."

"..."

"Go fuck yourself, Wufei."

"Good comeback Maxwell. Very mature."

"Trowa..." Quatre noticed Trowa was being especially unnoticeable.

"Hi."

"What's that you've got?"

"Nothing."

"Looks like something," Quatre ventured,"a card?" Quatre scooped up the paper Trowa had discreetly been disposing of in the bedroom wastebasket.

"Oh that, I dunno."

"It's a ransom note from Peter!"

"What?"

"Oh right. THAT note from Peter. He's demanding that if we ever want Heero back we need to bring him Quatre."

"Oh my god! Why were you throwing it away?"

"Prolly because of that stupid bet," Wufei sneered, "Pan demanding Quatre completly shoots down the whole idea of Heero being chosen after careful study."

"HA!" Duo jumped up, "BITE ME BARTON! AFTER CAREFUL STUDY PAN DETERMINED HEERO TO BE THE WEAKEST LINK"

"NO! Heero was taken because he was clearly the most valuable to us! Who knows why they want Quatre!"

"TROWA!" Quatre looked like he might cry.

"Not now, Honey."

"Trowa Barton, sometimes words hurt people!"

"When I win the $200 I'll take you to dinner,"

"Like a real date?"

"Like a real date."

"But do you have to be so mean to me? Would it kill you to defend me? Like Heero defends Duo!"

"Heero doesn't always say nice things about Duo."

"Soldiers! Focus!" Wufei shouted, "Quatre, please read the note."

Quatre cleared his throat, "If you ever wanna see Heero Yuy again, put Quatre Winner in the gundam and send him to the second star to the right and straight on till morning."

"Is that all? No conditions? Nothing like: no police, or come alone, or bring money in brown bags?"

"No..nothing like that."

"Well he is a lil fairy boy," Trowa observed, "Maybe none of those things occurred to him."

"It'd doesn't even specify which gundam to send." Quatre turned the note over just to double check.

Duo scoffed,"So much for careful study. Alright boys! Let's get our shit together and go get my baby!"

The pilots rushed from the room...only to pause in the kitchen engaged in debate about which gundam was most appropriate for the mission. It was a long and involved debate. Finally they decided that they should each bring their own and escort Quatre. The upside to having such a long "Discussion" was that by the time they were finished it was nightfall, and the boys had no trouble finding the stars that were needed to navigate their way to the rendezvous point Pan specified.


	6. Smells like cowardly codfish

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews.. I really appreciate your enthusiasm and encouragement!

It absolutely inspires me to get cracking on the next update. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying my story, since I'm having so much FUN writing it!

And for those of you who are concerned: of course I INTEND to continue this fic until the boys are home again, throughly traumatized and ready for Endless Waltz...

(Minna, understand it's a work in progress... I'm making it up as i go along... fear not. I'm not hoarding chapters and holding out on you)!

Love, Your Jane

CHAPTER 6

Camouflaged in the shadowy cover of leaves, Pan silently took skillful aim with his slingshot. With a crack a large coconut snapped off it's place on its tree and plummeted into a bush below and caused an explosion of leaves and a scrambling of small hands. A skinny little boy burst out from the bush with leaves in his messy hair. Peter greeted him, "Ha! Found you, Heero!"

Pan stood proudly with hands on his hips and a grin on his face. Heero looked like he wanted to protest, but then he thought of a better plan and smirked mischievously. Pan began laughing triumphantly, impressed with his own cleverness, but stopped abruptly when he realized he had been shot.

"OUCH! HEERO! THAT'LL LEAVE A WELT! NO FAIR!"

Pan rubbed his aching temple and shot Heero a squinty glare. Heero ran off, tucking his own slingshot in his shorts. As he ran, Heero absentmindedly wondered when he had learned to stash a weapon so instinctively but the attempt to remember was as futile as trying to clearly remember why things happened in a dream. Pan took off in hot pursuit of his japanese playmate. The two boys blazed through their jungly surroundings, ducking and weaving like wildfire. Heero skidded to a halt and ducked past a big beech tree, careful not to trip on the roots, before he began sprinting down a sandy path to the beach. Heero slowed to a jog as he approached the water. It was too quiet. Moments later Pan was upon him and holding him in a headlock. Pan crowed in victory as Heero dropped to his knees in submission. Peter pulled Heero back to his feet ad tussled the Japanese boy's brown hair. Heero swatted Pan's hand away, "Get off, Peter, Listen!"

Both boys silently turned to face the water. A confused Peter Pan furrowed his eyebrows, "Strange.. There are no birds calling.."

"Peter, what's that roaring sound?"

"I hear it too..this way..." Pan moved toward the place where the lagoon met the ocean, and motioned for Heero to follow. Pan led Heero past the trees, and both boys froze in their tracks. Standing "waist deep" off the shore was a huge humanoid robot. Without warning the water around it erupted, rising up as if there had been an underwater explosion. The enormous structure lurched, before sinking into the water. Both boys had been startled, but Heero was especially embarrassed to find that he had been so scared, he had grabbed Peter's hand. Releasing the other boy immediately, Heero thought he remembered part of the dream... a crooked grin...it was gone. Peter blushed and Heero shot him a frightened glance. The robot disappeared under the water with a satisfying slurp.

"Put your hands on your heads," a calm monotone instructed, and two soft clicks were heard.

Peter and Heero put their hands on their heads.

"Turn around."

Pan and Heero obediently turned to find to tall, thin men towering over them and holding them at gun point. One of the men used a long sword to gently knock the slingshots out of each boys belt and out of reach.

"Since when do pirates and indians work together?" Heero sneered.

The "pirate" arched an eyebrow from under a thick unibang. The "indian" with the sword appeared to falter for a moment, "Yuy?"

"We know you speak English!" Heero glared.

Pan scoffed, "I've never seen them before, but these two smell like a couple of cowardly codfish!"

"On your knees, boys." The "pirate" continued to instruct them. Heero and Pan obeyed, but continued to comment on the appearance of their captors with insolence.

Wufei addressed Trowa in Japanese, "Here's a riddle for you, clown boy."

Trowa frowned "Clown boy? I have a name."

"No you don't."

"Oh. right."

"What dresses like Heero, glares like Heero, wears his hair like Heero, and carries a weapon like Heero.. but doesn't look much like Heero, or sound much like Heero?"

"Uh...Chibi Heero."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" Chibi Heero looked quite pissed, from where he knelt in the sand beside Chibi Pan. Trowa and Wufei suddenly remembered that when you say 'Chibi Heero' in japanese, it sounds like 'Chibi Heero'.

"Oh my gods.. Barton you're brilliant."

"I'm an enigma."

"Trowa! Wufei! Find something!" An obnoxious american voice called across the beach.

"We found Pan and Yuy!" Wufei called.

Quatre and Duo joined the others.

Quatre moved his goggles up onto his head and gave Trowa and Wufei a confused look, "Where are they then?"

"Hn."

"Trowa," Quatre frowned, "Those are just little boys."

"Look Heero," Chibi Pan spoke very loudly now, "They need four MEN to handle us."

Chibi Heero smirked, "Only four? They UNDERestimate us!"

"HA" Chibi Pan winked at Chibi Heero.

Quatre gasped, "It IS Pan! He's smaller than i remember.. Duo, what do you think?"

Duo regarded Chibi Heero suspiciously "... it glares like Heero..."

"Hey Pan," Chibi Heero spoke loudly now too, "Ever notice how SLOW and STUPID grown ups are?"

"Shut up," Wufei hissed,"both of you."

"A lil defensive Wufei?"

"No. I have a bad feeling that they're signaling the others."

"The other chibis?" Duo snickered,"Oh no. whatever shall we do."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"OH MY GOD THEY"VE GOT QUATRE!"

(a fierce battle ensued).

When the dust settled, 4 teenage sized gundam pilots found themselves bound, gagged and taken prisoner. Fierce looking chibi's wearing war paint and brandishing wooden swords, small knives, and sling shots spererated the pilots from one another while Chibi Peter Pan let out a triumphant crow and led the troops back to the treehouse.


	7. A Slight Detour

A/N: Just so we're clear kids… the lost boys refer to "Indians" living in Neverland. I mean no offense, Minna. Just have to give me some time to address it and I think you'll be happy when I'm done with that idea… cause I /am/ going somewhere with my politically incorrectness.

CH 7

"Drop 'em Slightly", Pan ordered. The lost boy called Slightly gave Pan a smart salute.

"Pan you son of a bitch!" Duo protested.

"The gibberish language they speak sounds so much like English" Chibi Heero mused.

"Why are you pretending you don't know us!" Quatre almost sounded pissed.

Pan coughed, "Slightly!"

The bound g boys were flung off the ledge into a nearby waterfall. Slightly ceremoniously jumped in after them.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!"

"Listen up!" Pan addressed the lost boys, "Today is an important day in the war on adults!"

"Pirates suck!"

"Shut up Pan is talking!"

"You shut up, Pan is talking!"

(A fight broke out)

"BOYS! As your fearless leader I have brought you allies who the pirates will have no hope against in a fight! I have brought you NONE OTHER THAN THE ………can I get a drum roll?...the GBoys!"

Cheering and whooping ensued. Pan called for Heero. Chibi Heero scrambled forward, and without warning Pan shoved Heero off the ledge, sending him plummeting after other pilots. Pan's triumphant crow drowned out a cry that sounded a lot like "omae o korosu". The other lost boys joined in. Pan peered over the ledge, and when he saw Slightly crawling onto shore and giving the thumbs up Pan cannonballed off the ledge himself. With mores whoops and cheers, the other lost boys flung themselves into the water too.

Peter Pan bobbed up for air and pushed his soggy mop of red hair out of his eyes to see a circle of mermaids around him giggling.

"Hey Girls,"

"Hi Peter," They chorused.

"Tell us about one of your adventures!" One with short ugly blue hair whined.

"Please Peter!" A second mermaid with big blue eyes and two long blond braids smiled sweetly.

"Hilde, Sally, maybe another time, right now I'm in the middle of something." Peter began to swim toward shore.

"Hey Peter, introduce me to that tall newbie!" a mermaid with short curly brown hair pointed to the string of confused and completely drenched Chibi Gboys, who Slightly had just finished securing to a tree.

"I will, later Catherine!"

"Peter! Now!"

"No, I have to go-"

"Oh don't leave!" the three chorused again (one of the more annoying thing that happens when you spend all day together on a regular basis).

"I'll come visit you girls later"

"Promise?" The mermaids whined in harmony.

Peter approached the shore laughing, calling a "YES" back over his shoulder. The chibi gboys were coughing, choking and regarding the approaching fairy boy suspiciously. Chibi Quatre's goggles were askew across his face, Chibi Trowa's hair was slicked forward, covering both his eyes and creating a hopeless situation for Trowa's vision. Chibi Wufei wore a fierce scowl, with his puffy pants were plastered around his legs in an undignified way, and Chibi Duo looked like he was being choked by the catastrophe formally known as his braid. The prisoners looked like they were having trouble remembering where they were…except Chibi Duo…who looked quite pissed, "FUCKING HELL!" Duo spat some lagoon water out, "Goddamnit Pan! Who ties a bunch of guys together and throws 'em into white water? YOU FUCKING MORON! You could have killed us!"

Chibi Heero laughed manically at Duo's comment as he staggered onto the shore, "Peter let's do that AGAIN!"

Duo sighed, "…death wish like Heero… eh, Fei?"

"Wha-"

"AHHHHH! YOU"RE CHIBI! OH GOD! I'M CHIBI! PAN! WHAT have you done?"

"Nuthin."

"GODDAMNIT PAN! DO you have any idea who you're dealing with? The repercussions this could have? FUCKING HELL! YOU SHRANK INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS! ARE you out of the fucking skull?"

"…"

"That boy is scary," Chibi Quatre inched closer to Chibi Trowa.

"WHY THE FUCK AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S UPSET ABOUT THIS?"

Chibi Heero studied the ranting Duo and whispered to Pan,"…It's like he's trying to communicate with us, I know it…but what does 'international' mean?"

Pan shrugged, "what does 'fuck' mean?"

"HEERO!"

"Eeep!"  
"Heero.. It's ME… Duo!"

"Step off, boy."

Chibi Duo looked panicky, "Honey, you don't need that slingshot… Heero, Dontcha know me? ..."

"No."

"huh?...but….It's me…your Duo.."

"What's he talking 'bout Heero?"

"Yeah, Heero- How's he know your name?"

Chibi Heero looked frightened, "I DON'T know, and I don't know HIM!"

"Heh" Duo snickered, "Gods help me, Pan, if I wasn't tied to this tree.."

"But y'ar."

"Hi! I'm Quatre! It's nice to meet you all!" Chibi Quatre beamed.

"Hi Quatre, I'm Peter. These are the lost boys"

"I'm so happy to meet you all."

Duo closed his eyes as if he was trying to ease a migraine, "…kay…Quatre….uh…."

"Hi! What's your name?"

"Quatre…my name is Duo…."

"Hi Duo. Please don't talk to me anymore, okay?"

"What? But Quatre, you're the nice one!"

"Duo, you smell."

"Oh fuck you, Quatre!"

"Hey Duo,"

"What Pan?"

"Stop talking."

"I will not!"

"I'm your captain!"

"You're psychotic!"

"You eat bugs!"

"Wha- "

Duo was knocked unconscious by Pan's unforgiving slingshot.

The other gboys were cut loose and lead peacefully back to the tree house (for real this time) and Duo was carried. The entourage need only approach the tree-house before a chibi lost boy named Tootles came scrambling out to meet them whining Peter's name.

"Uh.. 'Sup Tootles?"

"Indians!"

"What about 'em?"

"They took the mother!"

"Don't care."

"You- you aren't mad at me?"

"Nope. I brought us an even BETTER mother, Tootles, meet Quatre."

Tootles looked very relieved, "Oh. Good."

"Yes, I am good." Pan agreed.

"I'm not a mother!" Chibi Quatre protested, "I'm a BOY"

"Oh, how silly of me," Pan rolled his eyes, "LOST BOYS NEW GAME" Pan announced, " it's House!"

"OH Oh! Oh!" Chibi Quatre began bouncing up and down and waving his hands in the air, "Peter! PETER"

"….yes, Quatre?"

"CAN I BE THE MOTHER? CAN I? CAN I?"

"S'okay with me."

"YAY!"

"LOST BOYS!" Pan addressed his legion, "WE ARE FREE OF THE LENA MOTHER! QUATRE THE INATIONAL TERRIST IS OUT NEW MOTHER"

Pan's ranks roared with approval.

Someone yelled, "HEY Let's go to the Indian camp and thank them!"

Cheers of approval wee heard all around, and the lost boys set off deep into the woods to find the "Indian Camp".


	8. SUBMIT TO NATAKU!

CH 8

Heero was marching proudly beside Pan when the lost boys arrived at the Indian campground. Peter was promptly pounced upon by a feisty lil Chinese girl.

"SUBMT TO NATAKU, WEAKLING!" She shouted.

"Get off!" Pan pulled the girl into a half nelson. Once Pan was victorious the two hugged and greeted each other warmly.

A tall, thin, rather sagely looking man had approached. Heero thought he looked like "Nataku"s father. The sage gave Peter a solemn nod. Peter responded with a low bow before taking a knee, and all the lost boys mimicked their captain.

"A little bird told me" Peter winked at the sage before continuing, "that you and your warriors tried to steal our mother."  
The old man closed his eyes and nodded, "There is no trying, only doing."

Pan grinned, "Well we came to thank you! We've been trying to get rid of her!"

There was a rustle in the bushes, and a chibi announced something about a pointily eared troll in a bathrobe spying on them again. The sage cursed under his breath (something about plagiarized wisdom in star wars) and glared at the bushes.

"Peter," Nataku whined, "We never liked her, but we're too polite and traditional to say anything to you against your unorthodox mother."

The sage confirmed his child's statement with a nod.

"What did you do with her?" Pan rose from his knees and looked to the sage with curiosity.

The sage's response was unapologetic, "We sold her to the pirates."

"Ah…why?"

"They initially hired us to abduct her."

Peter let out a groan, "Adults! Always outsourcing the FUN part of a scheme… I'll never understand!"

A few chibi's cheered or shouted an insistive, "Here! Here!"

"Oh Peter!" Nataku took Pan by the hands, "You all must stay for dinner!"

Pan gave her a wink, "Well that'd be swell, eh boys?"

The lost boys agreed that it was a great idea as they stood. The sage smiled a wide smile and stepped aside to invite the boys in.

"Oi! Peter!" one boy shouted, "What about the sleeper?"

Peter pointed to the sage, who pointed to a pile of hay. Heero watched as a couple of boys hauled and unconsious Duo toward the hay, before casually dumping him "close enough". Heero suddenly felt a sharp pain and thought about Duo looking scared and covered with glitter, sprawled in some dark hiding place. Every nerve screamed for Heero to protest to Duo's sloppy handling, but Heero wasn't sure why. It had never bothered him to see any of the other lost boys roughly handled. Heero scowled, "Duo?"

Pan grabbed Heero's hand, "C'mon, Heero!" Heero let his captain lead him into the settlement, as he tried to remember more about Duo. In the flashback, where were they? Why was there glitter? No. Wait. No. Was it snow? Why as Duo covered in snow? The details fled as quickly as they had come… Heero frowned. What had he been trying to remember? It was gone.

"Heero!" Pan shouted.

"What!"

"Do you want this or no? How many times to do I have to ask?"

Heero took the pipe Nataku was offering him and mumbled a thank you.

Heero took a drag, "Peter, have I met that boy with the braid before?"

"Which?"

"The boy with the braid."

"What's his name?"

"I forget.."

"What does he look like?"

"Uh…"

"How tall is he?"

"I'm not sure."

"What about his eyes?"

"Uh.. he has two."

"Oh. Good. Do you remember anything specific at all?"

"No. just that he has a braid."

Peter feigned confusion, "I dunno him. I don't know how you would."

"Yeah, I dunno. Forget it."

"Done."

Heero was getting sleepy from the smoke, and he decided to stop talking. It felt like all his senses were slowing down, while he watched Peter lean over to Nataku and ask her to go "take care" of something. Heero watched Nataku walk off, amusing himself with thoughts of her as just a floating head, and then he decided to close his eyes for a while. Heero thought about the whole scene happening again in slow motion, something he found extremely funny for no specific reason.


	9. A wilder side of Quatre

CH 9

CRACKLE!

BOOM!

Duo woke up. What was that loud bang? Duo found himself lying face down in some hay. There was a terrible smell.. like something burning.. something like hai- Duo was jerked into consciousness when he realized the tip of his braid was a light.

"FUCKING-OW!-OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW!"

Duo scrambled to crush the tip of his hair into the nearby dirt, smothering the flame with his fingers. Hearing some rustling, Duo looked around… sounded suspiciously like… puffy pants…

"Fei?"

(crickets chirp).

"Not cool, man. Really not cool." Duo noticed his voice sounded high pitched. He remembered with a groan, that he was chibi. Did that tree move? Instinctively, Deathsycthe's pilot reached for his gun, crouched, and inched away from the hay. It sounded like there was some sort of party going on…

In a flurry of leaves and gumdrops, Chinese children, who wore puffy pants and elaborate face paint, ambushed Duo. As a few girls lit sparklers, Duo didn't wonder how his hair had moments ago seemed to spontaneously combust. A child, who was wearing slippers with tiger faces and a tiger likeness painted on her own face, threw her arms around Duo's neck and growled playfully. Duo cracked a smile. He realized that mean little girls, who had obviously mistaken him for a little girl too, were surrounding him. He growled right back! The children laughed and made roaring sounds, glad that their new playmate was playing along! The girls found themselves ambushed by lil Chinese boys in puffy pants and tank tops (and a few more pairs of tiger slippers), who were accompanied by a pack of Lost Boys all of whom were painted to look like horses, monkeys, and lots more tigers. The wild girls let out war cries and put up a good showing, but eventually were taken prisoner, purely because they we so hopelessly outnumbered by the boys. As Duo found himself being marched toward a bon fire, having been taken prisoner for the THIRD time that day, he wondered if chibi's ever did anything other than fight. Now that the dust had settled Duo perused his captors. He spotted Quatre, but Heero wasn't among them. Quatre's hair was disheveled and sporting a splotchy blue dye job. Sandrock's pilot also had stripes of green war paint on his face. The sight disturbed Duo. A wilder side of Quatre was something he chose not to speculate about for a reason. The Chinese kid's settlement was very close. It was less of a march and more of a redirection.

There was a ring of tents around a bonfire. A few people were dancing as performance for the others, but most people were milling around and enjoying themselves. Duo spotted Pan almost immediately. Peter was sitting at the feet of a gentleman, who wore long robes and could only be described as sagely, with Heero and Wufei at his sides. Duo didn't even notice that he had been cut loose until he found himself being dragged into a tent by a gaggle of girls who were eager to play with his long, brown, exotic looking hair. Duo was less excited about the idea, but (once again) hopelessly outnumbered. Inside the tent, he protested as they began to loosen his braid, until he noticed a blue ball of light fluttering happily around the children.

"Hey," Duo pointed, "What's that?"

"That's Penelope," a little girl with two large buns of hair on her head giggled, "Penelope come over here!"

The ball of light sank with a happy bounce, into the child's cupped hands, only to find herself abruptly presented to Duo.

"Please don't bite me!" Duo flinched.

"Penelope the fairy, meet the newbie. Newbie, meet Penelope the fairy"

"Eh?" The fairy smiled mischievously and spoke with a voice that jingled, "Who bit you?"

"Uh- Tinker bell?" Girls brushing and re-braiding his hair distracted duo.

"Ha! Lucky you! So you must be so confused right now!"

"Basically."

"Did anyone else get bitten?"

"Dunno.."

"It's easy to tell! Does anyone else remember life before today?"

"NO-"

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Sucks to be YOU! That's the joy of fairy bites, you're immune to the waterfall that makes kids forget things."

"Are you serious?"

"Hehehehehehehe!"

"Tell me that "the waterfall that makes kids forget things" isn't what it's really called."

"You got a problem, take it up with the authoress. For all intents and purposes that's what we call it."

"What?"

"You got a problem take it up with the PRINCESS… you know… Nataku."

"Oh. Wait! What the hell? What the fuck is this suppose to be? Wonderland?"

"Neverland."

"You've GOT to be kidding me."

"You should be so lucky.."

"You mean the guys don't remember anything?"

"Nope."

"Holyshit! No! We have to leave! They NEED those memories! People need us to enforce the peace! PLUS Quatre has all out equipment to surface the gundams!"

"Well that sucks."

"Kinda!"

"Oh well. On the bright side: new gundams for endless waltz right?"

"Endless what? NO! It's not "Oh Well". It's a fucking problem!"

"And yelling at me, when all I'm doing is providing helpful information is clearly the solution."

"That's funny! I don't recall asking for your opinion!"

"Well good! I wouldn't help an ungrateful dork like you out if Peter Pan's life depended on it!"

"Well good! 'Cause I'm about to drop that fairy-assed son of a bitch! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LET GO OF MY HAIR YOU STUPID CUNT! OWWWWWWWWWWW"

Penelope called to the girls from where he hovered above Duo's head yanking a lock of Duo's hair straight up with her, "Azalea! Nataku! Burn it!"

"Penelope!"

Penelope's voice rang out angrily, "Burn the braid Nataku! Those were Peter's orders!"

"But it's so pretty…. Besides," Nataku snapped, "I don't see any Lost Boys here!"

"OWWWW!OW!OW! GODDAMNIT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"PENELOPE, YOU"RE HURTING HER! LET GO!"

Duo pulled a pocketknife and sawed off the captive lock of hair, sending Penelope reeling, before bolting for the door, only to be glomped by giggling girls armed to the teeth with red satin hair ribbons.

"GAH!" Duo was starting to panic. In an act of desperation he pulled the one called Azalea to him and held his knife to her throat.

"NO BODY TOUCH THE FUCKING BRAID!"

The girls froze at the authoritive tone Duo had taken, and Azalea whimpered a little.

"Look, kids," Duo explained, "I'm walking out of here now, and none of you are going to try to stop me. Do we understand each other?"

After receiving a few silent, wide-eyed nods, Duo began to back away slowly, taking the child with him. He whispered to his hostage the protocol under which she was going to lead him out of the camp without arousing suspicion in the others. It was a brief explanation because the one called Nataku, playing the hero and wielding a bamboo "sword", suddenly assaulted Duo.

"Fuckin'! Ouch! The REALLY hurt! Give me that!"

Duo snatched the stick from Nataku and brandished it threateningly with his free hand to keep her at a distance. Azalea obediently led Duo out into the party, and then she led him into the forest. Meanwhile, Nataku dropped to her knees, sobbing about being weak!

Once Duo felt safely out of any reveler's clear line of vision, he stopped Azalea from leading him any deeper into the woods.

"Hold up, kid," He called to her.

"Don't cut me!"

"No problem. Now, I want you to go back to the party and pretend you don't know me."

"No."

"Uh.. WHOA! SHIT! Take it easy there, kid. Okay. Let's do what you want.."

Azalea held Duo at gunpoint, "I want you to go back to the party and pretend you don't know me."

"What? Uh.. okay… kid with the gun gets to make the rules, eh?"

"Yep." The child grinned.

"S'pretty much the rule all the time at my house."

"The tree house?"

"No."

"Azalea."

Both Duo and Azalea were surprised to see a lost boy scowling beside a nearby tree.

"Heero?" Azalea called, "Did you follow us?"

"Yes."

"You're sooo sneaky! You should come hunting with us next time we go!"

"Sounds fun! Hey, go back to the party, let me worry about this one."

"Okay!" Azalea gave Heero the gun and ran off back, back to the party.

Heero held Duo at gunpoint now.

"Ah, just like old times.." Duo mused.

"Put your hands on your head."

Duo obeyed, "Heero?" Duo hoped desperately for a moment that Heero was somehow breaking down the block on his memory. Duo had no way of knowing that Chibi Heero was simply mimicking Trowa's behavior from the beach earlier that day.

"What's your name?"

"Duo."

"Hi Duo, I'm Heero."

"Hey."

"What do you know about a home that's not the tree house?"

"Um.. well it's kinda a long story…"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heero looked confused as to who might be calling for him, but Duo recognized the voice, "Penelope!"

Duo flinched as he blue light came darting toward them, but found himself forced to straighten up because a certain Heero Yuy was clutching his shoulder firmly.

"You see her too?" Heero breathed.

"What? The blue fairy? Yes."

"Good."

"Are you…okay? You're eyes are looking a little blood shot."

Heero hung his head, " I've been being stupid. I've been smoking tonight."

"Uh.."

"NEWBIE"

"What Penelope?"

Penelope floated up next to Duo's ear and whispered, "Don't tell him anything about life before today, you'll just scare him!"

"I haven't!"

"DUO!"

"What Heero?"

Heero leaned in and whispered to Duo, "The blue fairy, she's right next to you.."

"yeah, I know. Here, see for yourself, she's real!"

Duo cupped his hands, and Penelope understood the cue to nest in Duo's hands.

"Here, you want to hold her?" Duo offered.

"No. I'll prolly just break her."

"No you wont."

Penelope didn't wait around. She floated up to Heero's ear and began her jingling.

Heero seized Duo again, and giggled into the American boy's neck, "She's telling me to set fire to your hair, hehehehehe"

"Nani? No!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hehehe… uh… yeah… Heero.."

Heero picked up Duo's braid and ran his fingers slowly over it.

"Heero… do you mind?"

"No."

"Heero, I mean, stop touching me!"

"uh, oh. Heh. Sorry." Heero backed away.

"Thanks."

"Hey, let's go back to the party.."

"Yeah! I'd like that Duo! (GASP) I"LL RACE YOU!"

"OKAY!"

"GO!"

Heero turned and dashed back toward the settlement with a ball of blue light rushing to follow him. Duo sighed, turned away, and walked deeper into the forest.


	10. There's something wrong with the GBoys

In a dark part of the Neverland woods, a dark woman with dark intentions waited. She leaned against a tree with her arms crossed. She arched her excessively pointy eyebrows, as she checked her watch, and she looked up when she heard a rustling. A chibi wandered into the clearing.

"You're late."

"I was delayed."

"Don't make excuses, have some pride, and take some responsibility for your actions."

"Do you want to hear my information or would you like to continue your soapbox rhetoric for a while longer?"

"Let's hear it!"

"Peter wont come for Relena."

"What? Why the hell not?"

"Apparently they'd been trying to get rid of her.. Now they're actually celebrating with the Clan about it."

"The Captain is going to have our heads! You realize this!"

"Sort of amusing.. Really you did Pan a favor."

"Shut up. There's nothing funny about years of research wasted. God...He always comes to rescue the mother! We've studied his behavior… we've analyzed his motives… THIS is his mode of operations…"

"Dorothy, please. You're getting too emotional for my taste."

Dorothy regarded the ugly little gremlin of a chibi suspiciously, "You're holding out on me aren't you!"

"Yes."

"..Do not toy with me…"

"But it makes me so happy…"

"…Dr. J… do I look very happy to you?"

"Heh, You're plans will still work. Pan has brought a new mother for his boys."

"Eeexcellent"

"There's some gender confus- Shh! Someone's coming.."

Dorothy and Dr. J pulled out some playing cards and tried to look innocent (it wasn't very believable).

Chibi Duo stumbled into the clearing, "Oh, hey Dr. J, Dorothy, sorry to disturb- waaait…what the fuck are you guys doing here?"

"Hey, Duo." Dr. J raised his claw in greeting.

Duo rushed to J's side, "Holy shit! You know me!"

"yes…"

"Oh thank god! But you're you chibi! Why are you chibi? Did a fairy bite you? too?"

"Ah yes. Right. I have retained my memory because I was bitten by a fairy."

Dorothy scoffed, "named Dr. G"

Duo Sweatdropped for a moment, "Ah! Dr. G! Dorothy! You remember the war!"

"Yeah,"

"So you were bitten?"

"No. I never forgot. As you can see I'm not chibi."

"How'd you two get here? With Pan?"

"I took a ship," Dorothy explained, "J was here when I got here. Scoping out the Island to set up a secret lab…right Dr.?"

Dr J smiled, "something like that.."

"No." Duo interrupted, "I don't even want to know Dr. J. You're crazy, and I can accept that. Don't get me all riled with your lack of faith in humanity's ability to keep the peace."

J shrugged, "Okay. I wont."

"Moving on!" Duo rubbed his hands together with excitement, "A Ship! Nice! You guys gotta help me get the rest of the gundam pilots home. Peter Pans' got'em all fucked up. That arrogant, insensitive, tights wearing, messy haired, spawn of the devil! Damnit! I could shoot him twice in the leg."

"Uh," Dr. J interrupted, "Are we talking about Heero or Pan?"

"Pan."

"Ha! Duo you have finally run into the right people. We too hate Pan!" Dorothy said smugly.  
Dr. J smiled, as if he was thinking about how easy manipulating an emotional Duo would be, "Pan is my mortal enemy"

"No shit?"

"My thirst for vengeance has been unquenchable, ever since he cut off my hand and fed it to the crocodile."

"Hold up," Duo glared at J, "Dr. J, you're telling me Peter Pan cut off your hand?"

""Uh yeah. How did you think I lost it?"

"Dunno… never occurred to me to ask…"

"Well, Jesus! Who, other than Pan, would cut off a hand in the year AC?"

"I guess I thought you were born with it.."

"C'mon Duo, we don't even have handicapped people in the series!"

"What series?"

"Yeah," Dorothy folded her arms, "What series?"

"Uh…" Dr. J discreetly snapped his fingers, and two giant trout fell out of the sky. One hit Duo, one hit Dorothy, and the Jane kow-towed to her favorite authoress.

"Hey Duo, " Dorothy got back on her feet, and rubbed her head, "Are you doing something different with your hair?"

As he climbed to his feet, Duo looked over his shoulder as if he was trying to get a better look at his hair and frowned, "No…"

Dorothy picked up the end of the braid as if it were something offensive to her and showed Duo the red ribbons that were tied in the end of his braid and hung like a big silky tassel.

"Oh.." Duo blushed in a chibi way, "The other kids thought I was a girl."

Dorothy's eye's lit up, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Dr. J?"

Dr. J Shrugged, "That I'm surprised he let them live?"

"no…"

"Guess not then.."

"Duo" Dorothy tried to use her most soothing voice, "Sweet Duo, come back to the ship with me, and lets get some of my friends to help us get the rest of the pilots from Pan's clutches."

Dorothy tried to smile, but it sorta looked like a twitch.

"…Unless" Dr. J snickered, "unless you have some other plan, Duo."

Duo was apprehensive, "What exactly are you suggesting?"

"A regime change. In so many words." Dorothy did manage to smile sweetly around these words.

"meh… but the lost boys love Peter. I just want to go home and have friends with memories again.."

"Please," Dorothy scoffed, "Correct me if' I'm wrong, but your fellow pilots are currently blindly following Pan?"

"Well, yeah."

"And you were thinking," Dorothy continued, "that you, who are a stranger to them, can just approach them and tell them they need to leave with you, and you expect that they'll just walk away from Pan?"

"Uh. Yeah. I guess."

"Oh Duo, Do you really think you can charm away from youth incarnate five chibi's , who prolly wouldn't want to remember you and their pasts even if they could?"

"Uh… well.."

"Better leave the thinking to us," Dorothy tussled Duo's bangs (keep in mind he was chibi height), "You just sit and look pretty, Maxwell."

Chibi Dr. J nodded and addressed Duo, "They'll just thinking you're trying to trick them into being adult… because that's what Pan preaches to them… the evil and treacherous motives of adults…"

Dorothy shook her fist at the sky, "We're so misunderstood!"

"Dorothy you're not really an adult.." Duo gently pointed out.

"I'm not chibi though—and that's pretty much the criteria."

"Ah. I see.."

"Shh! Someone's coming!" Dr. J announced.

A chibi slipped stealthily into the clearing.

Duo whispered to Dorothy, "How did he hear that?"

"No idea. He's very creepy,"

"Hey! You're the troll in the bathrobe who's always spying on us!"

J groaned, "And you're Heero, Pan's lil pet."

"Yeah. Hi Duo. And you're a PIRATE" Heero pointed an accusing finger at Dorothy, "DUO! SHE"S THE ENEMY!"

"Heero- I thought you went back to the party."

"Well yeah, I did! …but… then I waited! And you didn't come! And I thought you might be lost! So I came to save you! I mean hunt you!"

"er?" Duo looked slightly disturbed.

"AWWW! He LIKES you!" Dorothy teased, giving Duo a wink.

"See!" J pointed excitedly at Heero, "Look! Look how thorough his training was- IT KICKS IN EVEN WHEN HE CANNOT REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE! MWH-HA-HA! I have done it! I have spawned a killing instinct! The ultimate soldier! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"Yeah. Great." Duo sneered.

Heero looked soooo confused, "Do I know you, Forest Troll?"

"Heh. No."

Heero glared around at everyone. After a few minutes he spoke, "Duo, pirates suck. Let's go back to play with Peter now.

Duo ran his hand through his hair, "heh…nah, Heero, I don't think that's going to happen."

Matter-of-factly, chibi Heero took chibi Duo by the chibi hand, "Duo, c'mon."

Dorothy arched a point eyebrow, "Duo? Don't you want to go back to play with Peter? Or don't you want to go with us?"

Heero stepped between Duo and Dorothy, looked Duo square in the eye and hissed, "She's a Pirate…. she's the enemy…if you go with her you'll never be able to come back!"

Heero gave Duo's hand a squeeze, and Duo felt every fiber of his being shudder, as he listened to Heero whispering. GAH! Duo wanted to grab Heero and shake him! Shake him so hard he would remember all the things they'd experienced together. He desperately sought some evidence of the existence of that boy who was so precious to him in the face of this stranger; Duo felt tears of frustration welling in his throat.

Duo glared, and jerked his hand from Heero's grasp. Heero instinctively snatched for it back with lightning reflexes while he whined, "She's the enemy!", but Duo wasn't listening. Deathsychthe's pilot had stepped closer and taken Heero's face in both hands. Heero was startled to feel Duo's fingers brush his ears, push though his hair, and hold up his head. Heero was aware of only the firm planting of three succinct Duo-kisses on his forehead, and Duo's shirt clutched in his hand (had Duo caused this inaccuracy?). Heero felt his breath painfully catch like a feather in his throat, and Duo hitched up his faltering smile and explained, "My friends have become strangers, I feel surrounded by enemies."

He felt that Duo was suffering. Heero was suddenly seized with an ache to do anything and everything in his power to kill Duo's worries, to make Duo laugh, to keep Duo safe. Heero was frantic to know what was wrong with Duo. If Duo would just come back, Pan would explain (and it was very simple!) Lost boys/ Indians good. Pirates bad…

Duo tugged his shirt from Heero's stunned grip and left. Dorothy smiled, giving chibi Duo a pat on the head. Chibi Dr. J waved goodbye as they left Heero alone in the clearing. Heero absent-mindedly waved back, feeling overwhelmed with shame. Heero didn't pretend to know why, or even who that braided boy was, but he was sure from the empty feeling in his gut that it had been crucial to keep that boy near him. He had failed. Heero headed back to the party, sad and bewildered. He needed answers, and he knew Pan had some of them, and the braided boy had the rest.

Back at the party…

"Ha! I win again!"

"See Nataku, you're not weak!"

"Are you sure you're not letting me win Peter?"

"Why would I do that?"

A lost boy named Curly, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei watched as Nataku and Peter Pan arm-wrestled. A cheered up Nataku grinned at Peter before giving him a quick peck on the nose. Wufei flinched. Pan beamed and gently rubbed his nose with hers.

"…" Trowa shot Quatre a mischievous smile.

Quatre innocently smiled back.

When Pan kissed Nataku softly on the cheek, chibi Wufei started yelling. No one could understand what exactly he was yelling, but he was pointing and drawing a lot of attention to himself. Curly gasped in horror and began yelling as well. Unlike Wufei, Curly pointed beyond Pan and Nataku to where Trowa and Quatre were cuddling. The other lost boys began shouting in a similar manner, suggesting that such behavior was generally not regarded as okay.

Quatre and Trowa froze like deer in headlights when they realized all the fussing was over them! It hadn't felt like they were doing anything terribly wrong, Chibi Quatre gave Chibi Trowa a worried look, "I think we've made some mistake, but I'm not sure WHAT exactly…"

Trowa mumbled, "I'm confused too."

"PAN!" Someone shouted. Quatre and Trowa were grateful for the distraction.

"WHAT? Oh, hey Heero."

"What is that you're not telling me!"

"What?"

"There's something you're keeping secret from me, and I want you to spill it, now."

"Chill, Heero. C'mere… what's gotten into you?"

"Where do I know Duo from?"

"Nowhere."

"No. I know him."

"Why do you think I know these things?"

"Uh.. I'm not sure.."

"I thought so. You're talking crazy. You're prolly just tired."

"But.."

"Heero, if you wanna know what I think: you prolly dreamed Duo. It's just your head playing tricks on you."

"No-"

"OKAY SLIGHTLY! HERE I COME! Gotta run Heero" Pan ran off…

Heero dropped dejectedly into the closest clump of hay and assumed the fetal position.

"Hi. I'm Wufei."

"Hey."

"I heard you talking to Peter."

"Oh." Heero closed his eyes, turns out he really was sort of tired…

"I think I know that girl Nataku, but I can't remember anything about her to prove I've met her before tonight.. It's confusing.. because watching her ignore me makes me so- "

"So sad?" Heero sleepily supplied.

"Yeah exactly, and there's no explaining it…"

"Does it feel like she's been living inside you?"

"Right, and no one can see her there…"

"But sometimes you can.. you catch sight of her.."

Wufei nodded.

As he lay in the pile of hay, something in Heero's heart stirred. As he drifted off to sleep, slowly Heero found he could recall everything.

Both boys were silent for a long time.

A few hours later….

"Sup Tootles?"

"uh, Peter, I think there's something wrong with the Gboys."

"Eh?"

"All four of 'em just… stopped talking about 2 hours ago… it's sorta creepy now.."

"Four? There are five!"

"No…"

"What?"

Pan be-lined toward Quatre and Trowa, "sup Kids?"

The boys shrugged in reply, "Where are the others?"

They each shook their heads that they didn't know.

"k….Hey Heero-" Pan wandered away.

"He's asleep." Wufei growled at Pan.

"Where's Duo?"

"Dunno."

"Heero.." Pan dropped to his knees and shook Heero awake, "…wake up."

"I'm up… I'm up…" Heero groaned.

"Heero…c'mon, this is important!"

A sleepy Heero scratched his head before surging into a bolt upright position, snatching Pan by the collar of his tunic and with a groggy morning voice demanding to know where Duo was.

"That's what I was gonna ask you!" Pan looked annoyed, pulling his tunic back from a very disoriented Gundam pilot's grasp.

"And who the hell are you suppose to be?"

"Uh..Peter Pan.."

"What? Oh right.." Heero scrambled to stand while groaning, "Goddamnnit, Duo!"

Without any further explanation, in all of his barefooted glory, Heero Yuy abruptly set off to do some rectifying.

"Wait for me!" Pan called, as he dashed after Heero.


	11. Heero scoffed, “You’re kidding”

Ripping foliage out of his way, Heero Yuy pushed through the forest. The morning air was cold, and above him, Heero was aware of an obnoxious fairy boy floating along with a look of disgust none too discreetly arranged on his face. Heero tried to remember what he'd dreamt about last night, before he became aware of this morning, and of his life, but he had a splitting headache, like a truck had hit him in the face, and he felt pelted with thoughts, like someone was channel surfing his memory.

He remembered the black sky of space, and the blue oceans of Earth. Coffee: its warm, bitter taste. The perfect soldier was in some serious caffeine withdrawal. He remembered the cockpit of wing, Relena, the colonies, and Duo. Oh how he remembered Duo. Heero remembered that he was on an uncharted island, that this place was not his real home. Pan had led him here. From where? Earth? Yes. Earth, it was the Saudi safe house. The carpet smelled funny at the Saudi safe house. Heero remembered the mission. They had infiltrated the headquarters of a rapidly growing rebel group, and the next step was to destroy all evidence of the facility… yes. Then he'd found a shadow. Yes… then he'd found a boy…

_MEANWHILE_

"So nice of you to join us, Dorothy!"

Dorothy nodded a silent agreement and took a seat among the others before the captain.

"Men," el captain addressed the group, "Dorothy is about to tell us when pan will come to rescue Relena."

"Well.. Funny story actually…" Dorothy laughed nervously, "Pan won't come for Relena. But-"

"…What!" The captain whined.

"BUT! I brought you the mother he will come for!"

"SMEE! How long have there been TWO mothers?"

"Uh…I-uh…."

"Going on 72 hours" Dorothy announced.

"And I have _/both/_ mothers? Here on my ship?" the captain pressed.

"As we speak."

"Oh. Well that's perfect then. Thanks!"

"It is, as always, my pleasure to serve you Captain Kushrenada."

"Uh, pardon me capt'n," Smee piped up, "Would we review the plan, one more time?"

"Perhaps one of my cronies would like to brief you, Smee."

Crony #1 began, "We lure pan onto the ship by taking hostages. We will have the upper hand because we are more familiar with all the hiding places on a ship."

"Of course." The captain confirmed.

"And I," Dorothy interrupted, "have recruited the mermaids to tell the lost boys that Pan has left for a bit."

Crony #2 jumped in, "we will set up pirates on the island and signal the mermaids to make the announcement, triggering an hour long window of opportunity in which the lost boys will brawl for power in Peter's absence, like they always do. However because this time we will have control of when the to trigger the rioting we will be able to choose the most opportune time to ambush them."

"And then," the captain interupted, "The island will be ours for the taking, to set up as our main base- seeing how questionable existence of Neverland is the ultimate in stealth- and we will then be poised for world domination!"

"Location! Location! Location!" Dorothy interjected, sounded suspiciously like a realtor…

_MEANWHILE … Deep in the bowels of the ship…_

"Heero! I knew you'd come for me!"

"Ugh! Lena! He's not coming for you! You can stop saying that! He hates you! How many times do I have to tell you- you stupid, audacious bitch!"

"Bite me fruit loop! IT"S REALLY HEERO THIS TIME!"

"er?"

Chibi Heero was tossed roughly into a cell beside the one Relena and Duo were sharing.

_MEANWHILE_

See coughed, "but, uh, if all the pirates are capturing the lost boys, who will guard Peter and the um, mothers?"

"Doesn't matter. If they get away, Dorothy has arranged for the mermaids to inform Pan that the lost boys abandoned him. That they made the one called Wufei their new captain in a glorious union of the lost boys, and the Chinese clan, which would be an unstoppable army of little people who don't express their emotions very well."

"Ah," Dorothy smiled, "the stuff misplaced aggression is made of! Mwh-ha-ha! Cough! Sorry. That sounds pretty plausible, eh?"

"Oh," Smee's eyes went wide, "that would be a recipe for some devastating destruction, and Pan without his following is practically powerless… genius captain!"

"Yes, I know."

"Um."

"Do you have a question, Smee?"

"Well, I guess I'm wondering why we don't just kill Pan when he comes for the hostages."

"Because that wouldn't cause him the same mental anguish."

"But, it'd be so much less risky.. "

"I'm sorry Smee! Are you the captain of this ship?"

"Cough! Not yet."

"Hmm? didn't catch that…"

"No, ma'am!"

"That's what I thought."

_Knock-knock_

"..Captain!"

"Yes?"

"We've caught a chibi trying to sneak aboard the ship! We've locked him below!"

"Ooo! Um, I'll be down shortly"

"Aye-aye! Uh! I mean, ROGER THAT!"

_MEANWHILE_

Heero smiled shyly at Duo, "…hey gorgeous. I've missed you so much.."

Duo's face cracked with a grin, "You remember shit!"

"HEERO!" Relena whined, "It was horrible, the pirates abducted me as part of some elaborate plot and, they've been calling me Mama ever since…"

Heero scowled, "you've been telling stories about us.."

"Yes. One of the pirates made me an offer to get a manga written and eventually maybe even an anime series. Wouldn't that be exciting Heero?"

"No."

"Oh of course it's exciting Heero" Relena continued to whine.

"Oh Relena, you know how Heero loves the lime light," Duo sneered at Relena, "that's why he's dedicated his life to being an unsung hero-…Oh…wait…."

"AW!" Smee grinned, "They all know each other!"

"Who are you suppose to be?" The child captain smiled sweetly at Heero.

Heero frowned, "I'm a lost boy. Who are you?"

"Well, I'm _Mariemeia Kushrenada_, daughter of _Trieze_ _Kushrenda_, and _Capitainne_ of this ship!"

"Trieze had a daughter?" watching Heero ask this, Duo thought Heero looked nervous…. nah! Couldn't be!

"Yes, he did, and it's me." Mariemeia announced, "And you'd better get use to the idea because you are my prisoner now. Tell me who sent you and why."

"CAPTAIN" a pirate, shouted, "IT'S PETER PAN! HE"S HERE!"

"Hehehehe" Mariemeia giggled her evil giggle, "Smee, you keep an eye on these prisoners. I've got an axis of evil to supervise."

"I wonder who's wining.." Relena mused absently, as they watched the pink haired terror run off. Above them, the sounds of an epic battle came reverberating through the deck

Heero reached through the bars for Duo, "I don't like this- what starts as a plot to abduct Relena in a ploy for attention ends up snowballing into _this shit! _ Remind me never to let a Relena kidnapping get so out of hand that there's Duo endangerment again."

"Heero, next time Relena goes missing I will consider it an act of affection for me if you leave abruptly and rescue her as efficiently as possible."

"Hey!" Smee wagged disappointed finger at the chibis, "This isn't suppose to be a time for making plans!"

"C'mon now, Smee," Duo tried to look sympathetic, " Are you gonna let that lil girl keep bossing you around?"

Smee snickered and shook his head.

"She's just a puppet," Heero asked in monotone, "isn't she?"

"The pirates are loyal to her" Smee began to explain, "because her "father" single handedly enable the pirate boots with knee pads to make a come back."

Heero scoffed, "You're kidding."

"I would never kid about his Excellency's footwear."

At this point, a rather traumatized Heero cringed, "aw fuck, you're- "

Smee smiled at Heero and removed his smee mask,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Heero! Shut the hell up."

"Huh?" Heero sat bolt upright, realizing he was in his bed, in the room he shared with Duo, in the Saudi safe house.

"You were having a bad dream," Duo groaned as he rolled onto his back, "I warned you about staying up watching the Disney Channel with Quatre."

"Duo! You- you're not a chibi.."

"Nothing gets past you, koi."

"Ha. Now I don't have to worry about how to make us all normal size again."

"I don't even want to know."

"Right," Heero was noticing gold glitter on his finger tips as he turned to his lover, brushed some of Duo's hair back into place behind his ear, snuggled back into a sleepy pair of waiting arms.

"Aw!" Quatre cooed from the doorway, only to be fiercely shushed by Trowa and Peter.

"Sorry!"

"Alright, " Trowa put a hand on his hip and turned to Pan, "He seems adequately convinced he dreamt the whole thing," Trowa offered Pan a wad of bills that was suppose to be a 25 cut, "here."

Pan rolled his eyes, "I don't want you're money, Tro- besides I'm grateful enough that you took Relena and the pirates off my hands."

"s'least we could do!" Quatre examined a 6" vile of glitter, "Now we finally have something powerful enough o sedate Heero."

Trowa snickered and reached for the vile, "it's a fair trade, you get peace and quiet, we get peace and quiet, everyone wins."

"HA!" Pan laughed, "You call that peace and quiet? He screamed all about Dekim in the Smee disguise all the way through the battle of youth vs embittered age, the trip home, and up until we tucked him into bed, just now."

"That was just a the shock talking" Trowa shrugged, "He usually works his problems out through acts of terrorism."

"It's true" Quatre sighed, "poor Tink."

Pan sniffled and nodded in agreement.

Quatre looked at Pan with wide, emotional eyes now, "Peter, will we ever see you again?"

Pan smiled mischievously, "Well… a little bird told me a compatriot of mine was deprived a carefree childhood, but tells some terrific stories. He believes in magic, and we Englishmen have to look out for each other. I could use your help.."

"Oh!" Quatre lit up, "You want to bring him to visit Neverland?"

"Yes, but he's a little on the grown side, and the older they are the less willingly they come along, so I could use the extra muscle."

"Wait," Quatre folded his arms, "You're asking us to help you abduct someone? When?"

Pan shrugged, "yeah, tonight."

Quatre tugged Trowa's sleeve, "Trowa! Can we! Please!"

Trowa frowned, "We don't have any other plans tonight, so I don't see why not."

Pan grinned, "You guys are the greatest thugs a fairy could want!"

Quatre quietly cooed another Aww, while Pan pulled off his hat and checked the notes he kept there. Leading Quatre and Trowa to the window he laughed, "Next stop: number four Privet Drive, Harry Potter's cabinet under the stairs!"

FIN


End file.
